Overcoming Violence

Leaving an abusive relationship is exceptionally challenging, both emotionally and practically. The process involves acknowledging the abuse that’s occurring, finding support to leave safely, and processing the experience and the remaining pain or fear.

Survivors can gradually work to rebuild the self-esteem that was damaged in the relationship. Developing a non-judgmental support system, practicing self-care, and discussing the experience with a mental health professional can all help survivors in the aftermath of the relationship.

Identifying a pattern of abuse and making the decision to leave can be incredibly difficult. A few of those barriers include financial stress, having nowhere else to go, the threat of violence, and a lack of support from law enforcement. Family and social expectations may also create pressure to stay, especially when children are involved.

Survivors first need to acknowledge the abusive relationship. Writing down a partner’s behavior to identify patterns and speaking with a trusted friend or family member can help. Reaching out to a domestic violence organization can help with developing a safety plan to leave, and speaking with a therapist can help process the experience and rebuild self-esteem.

Society can empower—rather than stigmatize—abuse victims by directing them to supportive resources, making mental health care accessible and affordable, and developing and evaluating prevention programs. Since financial strain is a key component, workplaces can help by creating policies to protect and support employees who are victims of intimate partner violence.

It can take time before victims of domestic violence recognize their situation for what it is. Abuse often leaves physical marks, from bruises and broken bones to shortness of breath and involuntary shaking. Seeming more prone to “accidents” than the average person can be a warning sign that someone is being abused. Abuse victims can also suffer both short- and long-term emotional and psychological effects, including feelings of confusion or hopelessness, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Domestic violence is the most common cause of injury for women, leading to even more injuries than car accidents. The physical consequences can be short-term, such as bruises, pain, and broken bones, or long-term, such as arthritis, hypertension, and cardiovascular disease. The lasting consequences psychologically include depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Nine percent of men may experience domestic violence, which includes stalking, sexual assault, and physical violence, according to one UK study. Other research suggests that 28 percent of men experience intimate partner violence in the U.S. Men face distinct hurdles getting help, because they can be pathologized, not believed, or denied assistance from shelters created for women.

Men often don’t report domestic violence due to fear, shame, denial, stigma, and a lack of equal treatment. As a result, men minimize the abuse to protect themselves. One study participant explained that he feared being “laughed at, humiliated, or reversely accused of being the abuser due to a belief that men are physically capable of fighting back when being challenged.”

Domestic violence can instill fear and confusion in a child, all while their caregiver is often physically or emotionally unavailable. Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to struggle with insomnia, bed-wetting, verbal, motor, or cognitive challenges, anxiety, depression, self-harm, aggression, and domestic violence as an adult.